OK, so you know that frantic sense of efficiency that comes over you every now and again? That little voice of perfectionism that says “You can update your blog, clean the fridge, write a stunning essay on the Sienese renaissance, organize three international removals and prove your undying love by making creme brulee and chocolate mousse all in the same morning?”
Ah. Just me, then?
Well, if the thought ever does strike, dear readers, let me give you a tip – do not attempt the chocolate mousse. (The rest is a cinch, obviously.) Instead of unctuous melted chocolate folded billowingly into egg whites, the chocolate will inevitably have a fit of pique and seize into ugly, grainy clumps. It will sit at the bottom of the mixing bowl and refuse to have anything to do with a recipe with finesse. It may snort, contemptuously. It will do this both times you attempt to make the mousse, until you run out of chocolate.
But this post is neither about mousse nor a wild-eyed desperate housewife in chocolate-smeared pajamas at 11am. No, no. This post is about snatching victory from the jaws of a major fuck-up. Seized chocolate? Hah! I say: bake these fabulously tiger-striped chocolate cookies with the uncooperative chocolate and give failure the dunking it deserves.
Swirly chocolate cookies with seized chocolate
Adapted from the Times
Makes about 16
- 120g unsalted butter, at room temperature
- 165g light brown soft sugar
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 egg
- 210g plain flour
- ½tsp baking powder
- 120g chocolate – either seized with whatever you were dumb enough to put in it (eggs in my case) or in chip form (you smug so-and-so)
(If impatient, preheat the oven to 160˚C, otherwise wait until the dough is chilling in the fridge.)
Cream the sugar and butter together. Add the egg and vanilla extract and combine. Stir in the flour and baking powder well, then add the chocolate. If you’re using seized chocolate, you can just stir it in a little, leaving the chocolate in swirls throughout the dough.
Lay out a large rectangle of clingfilm wrap, and dump the cookie dough in the middle. Form it into a log about 10 inches long, 2 inches in diameter. Roll the log up and put it in the fridge for about an hour (or blast it in the freezer for 10 minutes if you have the cookie horn and your oven is ready to go).
When you are ready to bake, unwrap the log, slice it into cookies about half an inch thick and lay them fairly well separated on a baking sheet (you will probably need to do two batches, or save half of the log for a future cookie call). Bake in the preheated oven for about 18-20 minutes until tinged golden. Cool on a wire rack.
